How to move on from an ex you still love. 5 ways to move on.
A breakup doesn’t only end a relationship, it also knocks your self-worth and leaves you feeling rejected or abandoned. This is particularly hard if you still love your ex. Despite this, there are ways to move on and come out stronger.
It will feel like your life is ruined, you can’t be happy without them and that you are not taking care of yourself very well. These thoughts are not rational however common they may be during the initial breakup stages. You will likely be blaming yourself, thinking of ways to change to get them back and think and overthink all the things that happened that led you here.
Tip number 1:
cut off as much direct and indirect communication as you can. This may be difficult if you are still trying to resolve issues around shared bills or children however there are things you can do to minimise the contact as much as possible. This means you stop checking their social media pages for updates and checking whether they are online on Whatsapp or Facebook chat……..
Tip number 2:
Forgive the past, whether it is forgiveness to them of to yourself. Regret and anger are normal feelings to have during a breakup however this isn’t something that can help with your growth unless you sit with it, recognise it and allow yourself to move forward from it.
Tip number 3:
Be real about what it was. You will be thinking that the relationship was great, your ex was amazing and perfect and it’s all your fault things have ended. You will be thinking of all the good times, their good qualities and completely forgetting about all the times you felt hurt, sad or misunderstood. Try to balance your thoughts and be fair to yourself because that way of thinking is not kind to you or accurate regarding what that relationship really was.
Tip number 4:
Accept that the feelings you are having are ok and they won’t stay forever. If you still feel love for your ex, miss them and want them back, realise that this can be normal but again it is not the whole story. Love alone unfortunately is not enough to have a successful, healthy relationship with someone. If it was right, chances are it wouldn’t have ended. If you feel anger, frustration, loneliness, sadness regret or anything else, allow those feelings to exist.
Tip number 5:
Put yourself first. The last thing you want to be doing is going to work, socialising or doing things for yourself, you can probably barely find the strength to brush your teeth some days. However, at some point it is very important that you allow your friends and family to drag you out to lunch or to that fitness class. You have got to be able to find a way back to you. Who was the person you were before that relationship? What did you do that made you feel happy and confident within yourself? Try to be kind and caring towards yourself even if it’s just drinking enough water or eating something wholesome or comforting.
If you are struggling with a breakup or are worried your relationship is coming to an end, reach out now for a free telephone session with our coach.
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